Archive for July 6th, 2009

Summer read: Why Loyalty Matters

July 6, 2009

Why Loyalty Matters, Keiningham & Aksoy, Benbella Books, 2009

This book positions itself as presenting “the groundbreaking approach to rediscovering happiness, meaning, and lasting fulfillment in your life and work.”  While the book falls short of that tall order, it did contain some insightful material,.

The central thesis of the book:

Loyalty binds us together as people, grounds us on principle, and breeds happiness.

Though a lack of loyalty is one of the major causes of failure in every walk of life, our culture seems to have decided that loyalty is an old-fashioned and unimportant virtue.  That’s wrong and needs to be fixed — the sooner, the better.

Below are 25 nuggets that I highlighted in my reading.

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Ken’s 25 Nuggets from Why Loyalty Matters

  1. Being loyal is the manifestation of the deliberate choices we make in life.
  2. Loyalties are signs of the type of person we choose to be. They are the foundation of our character. They demonstrate what we value, what we believe, and what we want our world to be.
  3. Historically, loyalty was not optional. Ostracism represented the ultimate disgrace. A disloyal society was considered a selfish society.
  4. The world has shifted from a society of many deep, long-term loyalties to a society of  fleeting transactional relationships and ephemeral contacts.
  5. A Turkish proverb says “show me your friends, and I will show you who you are.”
  6. Loyalty differentiates friends from acquaintances. Loyal friends won’t abandon us when our need is the greatest..
  7. In a world of easily shifting loyalties, we are likely to find ourselves surrounded by a churning group of fair-weather friends.
  8. “It’s easy to get people to come to a party.”
  9. “A passion for the new quickly wears off, and the old shines through.”
  10. Close, supportive, connected relationships make for happiness, and people have fewer of these relationships today.
  11. Oprah says: “lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.”
  12. Loyalty is the hallmark of strong relationships and demands sacrifices. Few people will admit that they are not loyal; fewer believe believe that they are surrounded by loyal friends. Typically, we believe we are far more loyal than the recipients of our loyalty believe us to be.
  13. The dream of being a rebel who rejects the conventions of society will always hold some appeal in our imaginations.
  14. Real  loyalty endures inconvenience, withstands temptation, and does not cringe under assault.
  15. 25% of Americans report having no close friends in which they could confide things that are important to them. On average, a person has only 2 close confidants.
  16. Friendship =  loyalty, honesty, respect, trust, perseverance, intimacy, help, support, shared experiences.
  17. In this electronic age, some people build synthetic identities and environments. Their real lives and real friendships can’t compete with their fantasized virtual worlds. So, basic values and common humanity get diminished.
  18. Challenges to our self-image make us uncomfortable. But, “you cannot see the picture when you are inside the frame.”
  19. “Most of us remain ignorant of ourselves, because self-knowledge is painful and we prefer the pleasure of illusion.”
  20. Society cannot function and relationships cannot last if betrayal is the readily selected, probable outcome to every perceived grievance, disappointment, and inconvenience.
  21. Loyalty should never be unconditional. If your loyalty to a relationship influences you negatively, then the relationship is “toxic.” While it may be repairable, sustaining  in its current form will damage you.
  22. There is a difference between self-worth and self-absorption. Narcissism causes some people to devalue loyalty, by conveniently defining supreme loyalty as being loyal to one’s self. That is not a virtue!
  23. Loyalty requires a commitment to the future. When we fail, we must make every effort to restore what we have damaged.
  24. To forgive is not to condone.  In the end, forgiveness  may be needed to preserve a relationship. 
  25. Never, ever ignore your moral compass! Know the difference between right and wrong and adhere to it.

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Subsequent posts will ask the questions: what is your relationship style? And, are you loyal?

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Posted in Book Summaries, Relationships - Loyalty | 3 Comments »

Re: the economy … let’s take a Mulligan.

July 6, 2009

Note: “”Mulligan” is a golf term.  When a golfer hits a particularly bad shot, he may petition his buddies (usually fruitlessly)  for a 2nd try, a “do over”.  That’s called a Mulligan

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Ken’s Take:  Washington has thrown trillions of dollars at this recession, including that famous $787 billion in more spending that was supposed to yield $1.50 in growth for every $1 spent.

The ‘stimulus’ promised a jobless peak of 8%; it’s now 9.5%.

The defense: (1) We guessed wrong (Biden), (2) Less than 20% of the stimulus has hit the economy (wasn’t it an “emergency bill”  intended for this year?), (3) It’s Bush’s fault (remember him, from long ago?)

Since so little of the stimulus has been spent, let’s reclaim the dough and either bank it or do it right.

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Extracted from WSJ, “Tilting at Windmill Jobs”, July 3, 2009

As always, a sustained expansion and job creation must come from private investment and risk-taking.

Yet as America’s entrepreneurs look at Washington they see uncertainty and higher costs from:

a $1 trillion health-care bill;

  • higher energy costs from the cap-and-tax bill;
  • new restraints on consumer lending in the financial reform bill;
  • new tariffs and threats of trade protection;
  • limits on compensation and banker baiting;
  • the possibility of easier unionization, among numerous other Congressional brainstorms.

None of this inspires “animal spirits.”

The best thing Mr. Obama could do to create jobs would be to declare he’s dropping all of this and starting over.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124657739768489217.html

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Posted in Financial Crisis, Obama Administration | 1 Comment »