Attention Golfers: New Federal rules … level the course, increase “fairness”.

While it may have gotten lost in the “You didn’t build it” melee, new Federal golf rules will be in effect beginning Jan 2013.

Please share with fellow golfers.

By Executive Order, President Obama appointed a Golf Czar and ordered major rule changes in the game of golf,

The rules  will become effective January 1, 2013.

The complete rule book is over  1,000 pages.

Here are a few of the changes.

Golfers with handicaps:

  • below 10 will have their green fees increased by 35%.
  • between 11 and 18 will see no increase in green fees.
  • above 18 will get a $20 check each time they play.

The term “gimmie” will be changed to “entitlement” and will be used as follows:

  • handicaps below 10, no entitlements.
  • handicaps from 11 to 17, entitlements for putter length putts.
  • handicaps above 18, if golfer’s ball is on the green, no need to putt, just pick it up.

These entitlements are intended to bring about fairness and, most importantly, equality in scoring.

In addition, a golfer will be limited to a maximum of one birdie or six pars in any given 18-hole round.

Any excess must be given to those fellow players who have not yet scored a birdie or par.

Only after all players have received a birdie or par from the player actually making the birdie or par, can the par-birdie player begin to count his pars and birdies again.

The current USGA handicap system will be used for the above purposes, but the term “net score” will be available only for scoring those players with handicaps of 18 and above.

These rule changes are intended to “re-distribute” the success of winning by making sure that in every competition; the above 18 handicap players will post only “net score” against every other player’s “gross score”.

These new Rules are intended to positively change the game of golf.

Golf should be about Fairness.

It should not be about ability, hard work, practice, and responsibility.

Importantly, these rules will not apply to President Obama, Congress or Democratic bundlers.

Thanks to JWC for feeding the lead.

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One Response to “Attention Golfers: New Federal rules … level the course, increase “fairness”.”

  1. Brad Steeples Says:

    I’ve always felt that we could go a long way toward solving the obesity crisis if we invoked a little Obama redistributionism.

    Anyone who is obese and eats a donut is allowed to offload some percentage of the calories, sugar, and fat from the donut onto a healthy person.

    Any healthy person who exercises must pay an exercise tax whereby the obese person is allowed to hook-up to the healthy person’s metabolism and take some percentage of the calories burned.

    After all, it’s not fair that some people are fat and unhealthy while others are lean and healthy. We need some collectivist social engineering here.

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