An Aussie, a Brit, a Scot and a Russian …

What’s up with America’s Got Talent?


For years, I’ve been ridiculed by my family for loyally watching America’s Got Talent.

This is the 10th anniversary of the show – and though Howard Stern repeatedly hypes the talent as “the best ever, the best in America … acts you won’t see anywhere else”, even I am starting to have my doubts.

Maybe my family has been right all along.



The AGT  “finals” are next week.

To make my point, let’s look at some of the 10 finalists ….


The odds-on favorite to win the million dollar prize is a guy from Scotland who goes by the name “The Professional Regurgitator”.

In casual  conversation, the judges simply address him as “Regurgitator”.

Gotta admit that alone is a bit entertaining … straight out of the WWE.

His talent: he swallows stuff, manipulates it in his belly (e.g. magically unlocks a lock) and then pukes the stuff back up .

Judge Heidi Klum says “Best act by far”

That says a lot.

Another judges’ favorite: a clever ventriloquist from Australia.

Nothing against the dude … he is quite entertaining.

But, last time I looked, Australia wasn’t a state.


Then, there’s Piff the Magic Dragon … a guy from England who does magic dressed in a dragon’s costume.

He has done a couple of cool tricks … and cops an edgy attitude … e.g. rolls his eyes when the judges offer their opinions.

I first saw the act on Penn & Teller’s show “Fool Us”.

Entertaining, but suffice it to say that he didn’t fool Penn or Teller.


The upset making the finals was a Russian guy named Uzeyer.

His circus act: the guy balances a long ladder straight into the air (i.e. it’s not leaning against anything, no support ropes) …. climbs it and balances when he gets to the top.

Make that:”usually balances at the top”.

During the semi-finals, the guy fell off the ladder and almost killed himself.

The crowd roared and America voted him through to the finals.

My hunch: stock car racing syndrome … perverse desire to see the guy take another dive.


OK, let’s recap: an Aussie, a Brit, a Scot and a Russian.

Odds-on favorite is a Professional Regurgitator.

America’s Got Talent, baby …


P.S. To be fair, their are a couple of Americans in the Finals:

  • a stuttering comedian (think Stuttering John from Stern’s radio show);
  • a lame comedian (think Howie Mandel or the first to be jettisoned on Last Comic Standing),
  • a stay-at-home dad turned country singer with a deep voice and a sob story;
  • a comedic magician who wore his jammies in the semi-finals (certainly wouldn’t fool Penn & Teller).

Only two acts that I’d pay to see:

  •  a former Wall Streeter turned mentalist who has done a couple of tricks that might fool Penn & Teller and has great stage presence
  • a singing duo that does a Motown –gospel- pop act … really likable guys with good bandwidth

Taking one for the team, I’ll watch the finals next week so that you won’t have to …


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One Response to “An Aussie, a Brit, a Scot and a Russian …”

  1. Dave Miers Says:

    The “regurgitator” has previously appeared on the British, German, Czech, Italian and French versions of the show. His best result was 4th in France. Have the American voters spotted something that all those other countries missed?

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