The Homa Files

Good news: Darwin is alive and well!
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Maybe true, maybe not.

Don’t quibble, just laugh…
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[San Jose Mercury News]:
An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former girlfriend’s windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.

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[Kalamazoo Gazette]:
James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo, MI, was killed as he was trying to repair what police describe as a “farm-type truck.”

Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns hung underneath so that he could ascertain the source of a troubling noise.

Burns’ clothes caught on something, however, and the other man found Burns “wrapped in the drive shaft.”

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[Hickory Daily Record]:
Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in December in Newton, NC.

Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson 38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.

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[UPI, Toronto]:
Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death.

A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was explaining the strength of the buildings windows to visiting law students.

Hoy previously has conducted demonstrations of window strength according to police reports.

Peter Lawson, managing partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was “one of the best and brightest” members of the 200-man association.

A person has to wonder what the dimmer members of this law firm are like.

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[The News of the Weird]:
Michael Anderson Godwin had spent several years awaiting South Carolina’s electric chair on a murder conviction before having his sentence reduced to life in prison.

While sitting on a metal toilet in his cell attempting to fix his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.

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[The Indianapolis Star]:
A Dunkirk, IN man, using a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a muzzleloader, was killed Monday night when the weapon discharged in his face, sheriff’s investigators said.

Gregory David Pryor, 19,  was cleaning a 54-caliber muzzle-loader that had not been firing properly.

He was using the lighter to look into the barrel when the gunpowder ignited.

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And the winner is …

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[Arkansas Democrat Gazette]:
Two local men were injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday.

The men were returning to Des Arc after a frog-catching trip.

On an overcast Sunday night, Poole’s pickup truck headlights malfunctioned.

The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older-model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the .22 caliber bullets from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering-wheel column.

Upon inserting the bullet, the headlights again began to operate properly, and the two men proceeded on eastbound toward the White River Bridge.

After traveling approximately 20 miles,  the bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Poole in the testicles.

The vehicle swerved sharply right, exited the pavement, and struck a tree.

The driver suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident but will require extensive surgery to repair the damage to his testicles, which will never operate as intended.

The passenger, who sustained minor injuries, said “Thank God we weren’t on a bridge when Thurston shot his balls off, or we might be dead.”

According to a trooper: “I’ve been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the world, but this is a first for me. I can’t believe that those two would admit how this accident happened.”

Upon being notified of the wreck, the driver’s wife asked how many frogs did the boys catch and did anyone get them from the truck?

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Thanks to JWC for feeding the lead.

This entry was posted on January 17, 2023 at 7:10 am and is filed under Darwin, Fun & laughs. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.