Posts Tagged ‘Reed’

Some highlights (and many lowlights) from last Friday’s trip to Capitol Hill …

February 20, 2012

On Friday, we took an out-of-town friend to see the Capitol complex.

Let me be more specific, last Friday around noon, we took an out-of-town friend to the Capitol Visitors’ Center.

Know where I’m going with this?

According to the Washington Post:

Federal authorities on Friday arrested a 29-year-old Moroccan man in an alleged plot to carry out a suicide bombing at the U.S. Capitol,.

When arrested a few blocks from the Capitol around lunchtime on Friday, he was carrying what he believed to be a loaded automatic weapon and a suicide vest ready for detonation.

Suffice it to say, our group would have been very disappointed if we had gotten our butts blown off by the wingnut.

Since we didn’t, we’ll call that a highlight.

We got gallery passes to watch both the Senate and the Congress … hoping to catch a break and see them — with our very own eyes — increase the deficit by $180 billion and edge Social Security closer to insolvency.

First stop: House of Representatives.

When we walked in there was a “Member” speaking — no idea who the dude was.

Who was he speaking to, you ask?

Answer: NOBODY !

There was not a single other Member present to listen to to the guy — just a the House clerk, a couple of pages and a couple of court recorders — you know, the jobs that became obsolete about 30 years ago.

When the first guy was done talking, the was replaced at the podium by a “gentleman from Maryland” who must have been at least 120 years old.

He was mumbling so badly that we walked out … heading for the Senate.

When we walked into the Senate, Mike Lee– one of my favorites — was talking.

He was giving a spirited stop-the-spending speech to … NOBODY!

Again, not a single other Senator was hanging around to hear his pitch.

When he finished, Orin Hatch — another of my favorites — strolled in.

He gave a passionate defense of religious rights to … NOBODY.

When he finished, Harry Reed marched in.  We’re still not sure what he was blabbing about … our guest thought it had something to do with stalled appointments.

The best part of the day came when votes were held … with Harry Reed being the only Senator in the room.

First, there were a couple of things passed “without objection”.

Translation: the parliamentarian polled the room “Are there any objections?”

Of course not, you jackass, Harry Reed is the only one in the room…

“Passed without objection.”

The sublime became ridiculous when an actual vote was taken.

Again, Reed’s the only Senator present.

The parliamentarian commanded: “All those agreeing say ‘aye’.”

Reed chirps “aye”.

“All opposed say ‘nay’”

Still nobody else present, you jackass.

“The ayes have it, motion is accepted.”

I thought I was in the Twilight Zone.

I was still hoping that the other 99 Senators would storm in to vote on the payroll tax budget buster.

But, the parliamentarian just shouted: “Adjourned until next Tuesday at noon.”

Bummer.

I’d like to say I feel better about the process having watched it first hand.

I’d like to say that , but I can’t.

What a joke.

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